On March 14th, 2016, at exactly 8:37pm Eastern Standard Time, Sus The Super Human, after laboring with great courage and strength for over 20 hours, gave birth to our little sweetheart, Daya Shakti Varun.
What an epic journey it was. What an astounding feat of spiritual, mental, and physical power by my soulmate and my daughter – the two greatest human beings on earth (not like I’m biased or anything.)
Sus said it was like time stood still and moved at lighting speed all at once. I personally cannot even comprehend the effort, because just when it looked like Sus was tapped out and fatigued beyond measure, some strong-as-shit force of mother nature and energy from the universe pushed her to the next level.
And then, in that most momentous of moments, we got to meet our little sweetheart for the first time breathing the same air we breath, the person who would become the centre of our lives.
My first few reactions and bonding moments with Daya have mostly been around how powerful she is. She brought so many people a little bit closer together with her birth and even more in the days and weeks after.
(Frankly, she has already achieved far more in a very short time, than I have in 36 years.)
At the cost of repeating myself – I just can’t get over how powerful she is. How strong. Like a little warrior. But also like a little healer. All of life’s peccadilloes and stressful irritants seem to melt away in her presence and a greater sense of joy makes way instead.
Even when she’s crying. Even during those late-night, well-fed, clean-diapered, adequately-burped, bawl-fests when you just really, really, really wish you understood just what on earth it was that she’s friggin’ crying about.
We’ve managed to understand the food cry, and are starting to get a sense of the soiled diaper and digestion cries (which are interchangeable really), but are still yet to figure out a certain scowlish, fabulously imperious cry singularly aimed at me. It’s almost like she’s saying, “It’s go time pal. I ain’t planning on self-soothing and you’ve got work to do if you want the pleasure of my company. So get going on the half-squats and bouncy ball. My awesome mother who seems to inexplicably keep you around feeds me on demand and cuddles me on her bosom whenever I need it. You’ve yet to prove your utility value here, so hop to it.”
Really sharp kid, our little sweetheart is.
Neither Sus nor I can sometimes believe just how much we love this tiny little soul. I’ve already realized that Daya gives me strength at my weakest moments, making me want to be better than I’ve ever been. She gives me a sense of calm. Simultaneously she instills that gut-wrenching fear of any harm coming to a young ‘un that so many parents across the world feel. It’s something I have never experienced before. I realize now what so many parents across the world, biological or adopted, feel when they say they would do anything for their children.I especially feel what a section of those very same parents across this earth feel when they say would do anything to help their daughters fight the patriarchy and sexism around them.
Parenting truly is the most important thing I can do with my time.
And a very important part of that first, less-than-intrepid, dive into Immersion Parenting 101, is this very important credo:
Happy Mommy is Happy Baby, and vice versa.
My glorious partner (as if laboring for 20 hours plus while dealing with a host of physical and physiological stresses wasn’t enough), provides life-giving nectar to our little sweetheart any time her powerful little heart desires. Like a 24-7, super food store with just one awesomely demanding customer who must be served at all costs, day or night.
If that isn’t superhuman, I don’t know what is.
The very least I can do is aspire to be a blundering, but earnest, Robin to her Batman. (Or, better yet, Alfred.)
Regardless of how I traverse this steep learning curve in parenting, and traverse it I will with every fiber of my being, I now know what a quantum leap in life, love, and happiness looks like.
It all began the day we welcomed Daya Shakti into our lives.