The assassination of another great warrior-poet…long live Gauri Lankesh

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Yet another voice stamped out by the forces of fascism and farce in India.

This hits a little closer home.

The city of my childhood is beautiful Bangalore no more, but is now officially McTrumpuluru, clad in saffron, choking on it’s own polluted contradictions, infused with an abominable lack of humanity.

But the cold-blooded assassination that took place yesterday in Bangalore, is part of a violently depressing pattern across towns and cities in South and South West India; Bangalore just marks another nail in the coffin of the fascists; the assassination of yet another great voice of progress and reason. The martyrdom  of a warrior-poet who never took a step back in her glorious fight against the venomous right-wing forces that plague our times, Gauri Lankesh’s legacy will blaze a path forward for many, many others who will rise in her stead.

The forces of fascism and farce keep martyring great minds in various cities and towns around the Southwestern coast and inland in a curiously similar fashion. They seem to target those who light the way for others in life and death, particularly those who work utilizing vernacular media forms and are involved as rhizomatic figures in regionally strong, grassroots progressive movements in South and South West India, particularly Maharashtra and Karnataka (both states that the central, ruling BJP party, curiously enough, has established regional presences in but not as dominating political forces, which is what they desire.)

All the martyred warrior-poets were those who could clearly influence large numbers of people.

Narendra Dabholkar, anti-godmen and anti-superstition activist, martyred August 20th 2013, Pune. Shot at point blank range by gunmen on a motorcycle while on his morning walk.

Govind Pansare, leftist activist and best-selling regional author, martyred February 20th 2015, Mumbai. Shot at point blank range by gunmen on a motorcycle on Feb 16th, 2015 along with his wife, Uma Pansare, also a leftist activist, while returning from their morning walk. She survived the assassination attempt and continues to do courageous work in the area.

M.M. Kalburgi, progressive literary scholar and anti-superstition activist, martyred August 30th 2015, Dharwad. Shot at point blank range at his home in the morning by gunmen on a motorcycle.

And now Gauri Lankesh, progressive activist and editor of an influential regional weekly, martyred September 5th 2017, Bangalore. Shot at point blank range when returning home at night after work by gunmen on a motorcycle.

Oh, and did I mention that there are reports of cops thinking that the same fucking weapon might have been used in more than one of these murders? Not to mention the fact that they already have an organization as a prime suspect in the first three of them? Yeah, the Sanatan Sanstha, a fringe, Goa-based Hindu nationalist organization (with the most benign fucking website on the planet) but with direct ties to the mothership of Hindu nationalism, the RSS, via some militant group called the Hindu Janajagruti Samiti.

If this doesn’t smell of some larger conspiracy to bump off voices of freedom and reason, I don’t know what does. And it took me all of two Google searches to get the above information.

I don’t have all the answers. Clearly the authorities who seem to move at the lightning pace of thick, viscousy molasses when it comes to these investigations don’t either. Or maybe they do and are just corrupted by majoritarian fascism – something the South Asian subcontinent is well susceptible to.

But at least I’m part of a growing majority in India and within the diaspora who will not allow ourselves to be cowed down by the ignorance and malevolence of the Hindu nationalist supporters infesting the diverse and gorgeous global ethos of the subcontinent. We will follow, in our own humble ways, the paths that have been blazed by our great warrior-poets.

Indeed, if I may cynically paraphrase the breathtaking lack of vision and intellect shown by the Hindu fascists and their running dogs as they keep martyring our great lights…

How dumb are they?

What the hell were they thinking?

That fear and intimidation would actually work?

Idiots.

Right now, as I write this, there are thousands upon thousands of budding journalists, activists, intellectuals, truth seekers, and bearers of free thought who are fired up to be the next Gauri Lankesh, the next Dabholkar, the next Pansare, the next Kalburgi across the length and breadth of India – with a spark lit in their souls that no text or philosophical thought could have ever achieved.

Hindu fascists, like fascists everywhere, are too stupid and cowardly to realize that by martyring our lights, they do nothing but sow the seeds for thousands more to rise in their stead, super-charging the advancement of social and cultural progress.

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Destroying toxic masculinity, delivering a death blow to racism

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My daughter is a brilliant soul of pure light.

I know that she will, in the years and decades to come, face the stresses and struggles of a sexist, racist world held together by a historic colonial-dominator-guided patriarchy and oppressive social order. I know she will face it with a lot of courage and determination (not to mention breathtaking chutzpah).

Daya’s a mixed race child of Tamil-Germanic heritage, whose skin gets darker and hair gets lighter as she moves into full-blown toddlerhood with a firecracker mind and ancient soul. When I think of the learning, security, and community that Sus and I are trying to ensure for her, I also think of the different contours of oppression our little one will have to face as she charges through life. She being my daughter, me being a bumbling feminist, I always lean towards addressing the sexism and structures of patriarchy she is going to have to fight, indeed already is fighting.

She might face some forms of racism that her father faced. Maybe. I don’t know. She’s likely going to live in a mishmash of transnational American urbana. And she often looks like a white toddler with a really deep tan, you know, like one of them Mediterranean types so meh, I really don’t know how traumatizing the racial microaggressions are going to be in her life. I know it’s something to guard against and develop learning around, but in this current day and age…

…let’s face it, she is far more likely to face the myriad forms of patriarchy and sexism her mother and my mother, and all of our mothers and sisters and aunties faced. More even. Hopefully less, but misogyny is making its last violent stand, one that could last for many, many generations. She’s going to be waging epic battles in the midst of that shit for a while to come.

Because when I see the nastiest and vilest parts of this world, including all the violence, hatred, and destruction…yeah, some of it is couched in religious nationalism or ethno-racial supremacy or whatever (like a few thousand man-babies thumping their pale pigeon chests behind internet chat rooms is the real problem with structural racism in America)…all of it is led, savored, and sustained by men. Cis men. Men with some ridiculously overblown and self-aggrandizing crisis in masculinity, when what they should be doing is looking deep within themselves to undo that toxic crap if they truly want to find love and belonging in this world.

That might take a while.

(Now, you see why I think patriarchy and sexism are at the root of all evil?)

But I see no other way forward and it is as clear a truth as I have ever realized, especially as a father to a brilliant warrior soul and a man of color. We must destroy the toxic masculinity within us all in order to suck the life out of the historic racist structures that still plague our world today. Then our children can finally be free of all this crap.

My daughter speaks truth.

To power and the world around her.

I and my fellow dudes need only follow the light of higher souls like her.

***

 

Thanks for stopping by, don’t forget to check out my books as you endeavor to dismantle structures of oppression around you…https://loveliberationstruggle.wordpress.com/

 

The alt-right are entitled man-babies, their symbolic leader a predatory rapist (so isn’t patriarchy at the root of the problem?)

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Entitled dudes from privileged ethno-national classes accessing the worst of themselves in order to garner more power and privilege for their self-described “people” have been a pain in humanity’s ass for a while now.

Of course, in the process (and very much by design as has been documented) these whiny little shits incite anger and violence with progressive forces who fight them with no small amount of courage on the streets, albeit tragically ensuring more whiny little shits gravitate into their hateful embrace with the subsequent rise in polarization.

Just to be clear, I’m not coming down on organizing tactics or whatever. For starters, what the fuck do I know? You think fighting these whiny little shits in street battles is going to drive them away, by all means, go ahead and fight that fight. I used to think that way too until I realized that political street fights in America don’t really work out too well for folks who ain’t young cis white dudes. For me it’s less to do with tactics and more to do with egalitarianism within the resistance movement.

What happens to those who don’t have the social privilege to take part in such battles (who are also likely to be the most vulnerable to the kind of hate propagated by right wing forces)? Why is it primarily the over-romanticized tactics of street violence that are given “cred” and progressive media attention?

Antifa type fights have great imagery and symbolism, but they only privilege a particularly masculine, and for the most part Western/white-dominated, form of resistance. Something that hasn’t worked for damn near a millennium of this colonial, capitalist shit apart from some very temporary and fleeting victories. Why then is this the primary form of organizing that’s highlighted and valorized?

It is alienating for large numbers of people, including families with young children, undocumented folk, other vulnerable communities, our community elders, and more. It further prevents us from addressing what I believe lies at the root of this giant steaming pile of inequality and injustice we call our society, even with a cursory glance.

The whiny-ass white supremacists who are occupying media air time right now are almost solely man-babies. Their symbolic man-baby leader and megalomaniac-in-chief is a rapist and unabashed misogynist. It really doesn’t take much to probably deduce that toxic masculinity and patriarchy are at the root of the problem. Shouldn’t our resistance to this oppression then privilege the words, actions, and needs of mothers, women, trans folk, and children – i.e. those who face the worst that patriarchy has to offer? And especially those voices from black, latino, and other communities of color?

It has been documented time and time again that far-right forces across nations and societies provoke violence to further their own recruitment needs. Wouldn’t our mothers and wise matriarchs fight this in more nurturing, egalitarian, and multi-generational ways (albeit with less angry flash)? Might looking into the eyes of our children give us a more sustainable vision for fighting this good fight?

When you have to worry about nurturing those who will live long after you, your ideas of resistance and revolution must also necessarily be nurturing to those who will live long after you.

If we have the community, the love, and the solidarity to weather the storm; They will scream their hatred from their rooftops and no one will listen. They will brandish all the guns and they’ll shoot into empty air. They will choke on their own ill-gotten falsehoods as they wait endlessly for a fight, for we would have moved on to better things. Eventually “they” will be reduced to nothing more than the trauma of the past we all had to endure to toughen our souls for a brighter tomorrow. Rather than continuously sowing that hateful seed onward for future generations, their hate will die with them.

And our children will laugh and play together.

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The path of the male nurturer (and the struggle to prevent easy complacency)

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There is a way in which my ongoing struggle to ensure a nurturing core as a parent has helped me reflect on my internalized and toxic masculinity in a way no other endeavor or life experience has. It isn’t enough to just be a “good guy” (a title for which the bar is set so shockingly low across this globe that it barely qualifies you as a half-decent human being). It isn’t enough to just love in the lazy, entitled (and often infantile) manner that so many guys do with their life partners, something that is celebrated across pop culture as cute and charming rather than being highlighted for the damage it creates. It isn’t enough to just show up and compare ourselves to guys who are more dickish and ignorant than we are to make ourselves look good.

I know now that the male nurturer has to have the humility to start from scratch, to pay heed to the matriarchs around him, and actually learn from the times he messed up. Often it feels like suspended animation. My ego is both my worst enemy and best friend when it comes to parenting. He is a scumbag when it comes to dragging me down from evolving further, but he is also my most honest counsel when it comes to dealing with my shit so I can be a better father.

I’ve realized that us men cannot hope to love and nurture by just following some passive dictum of doing no harm. Our mere existence in this patriarchal world causes harm. Yes, even all us “good” and occasionally feminist men. Reflection is not just some smug asshole we see in a fucking mirror.

For if I’ve learnt anything from the last 17 months as a parent to a brilliant and liberated soul like Daya, it is this:

If loving and nurturing well isn’t the most important thing a guy’s doing with his time, he ain’t living right.

Not in this patriarchal world at least.

***

 

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Loss, suffering, and gratitude

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Recently, someone I knew took her own life.

She was a talented artiste who endured much trauma and pain throughout her life with great courage. She now rests in peace. Despite not being a close friend or family member, her death hit me at a very core level. I think the reason it shook me as much as it did is because loss and suffering, both personal and vicarious, are constant reminders that our bodily lives are ephemeral.

Unsurprisingly it’s particularly painful to think of loss or suffering in the context of our loved ones.

The tragic death of a beloved family member over a decade ago, alongside some past experiences with political violence, has me constantly fearing for the safety of my immediate loved ones. This fear is a permanent source of anxiety for me. Like an ever-present hum of white noise in the background, it’s always there no matter how hard I try to ignore it or rationalize it away. It can be quite crippling at times and also places a major roadblock to life fulfillment. It can take on all kinds of crazy shapes and forms. For instance, I get morbidly afraid of potential societal violence and collapse, despite the fact that I live in friggin’ Minneapolis, probably one of the safest cities in the world today. I get worried when Sus and Daya come home late from an outing, or if Sus has to go anywhere at evening or night alone. It’s an irrational fear, stemming from very real experiences of loss and suffering.

In other words, it’s a giant pain in the ass.

Now whenever this happens, I remind myself that we are all connected through spirit, and that the love we share will last forever, even beyond the inevitability of death. It’s a metaphysical philosophical framework that works for me.

All well and good…

But along with that spiritual grounding (or hokey mumbo jumbo, depending on your sensibilities), I feel I need a life practice that roots it in the here and now.

Which is why I’ve taken to practicing gratitude on a daily basis via simple journaling. Whenever I’ve done this in the past in some way or the other, it has really helped. This time around, I’d like to keep it going as a regular life habit to help ward off stress and anxiety.

On some days my gratitude journal might have no more than a sentence, even a very snarky one, but nonetheless a sentence describing something I truly am grateful for. On other days there might be a bit more. Regardless, they will always be a reminder that as I journey through life with my beloveds, our feline bffs, and our larger transnational community of loved ones, I have a veritable fuck ton of stuff to be grateful for.

I cannot control all the good or bad things that might happen to me and my family, nor am I ever going to completely heal from the painful anxiety I have over their wellbeing.

But I can certainly be grateful that I have an amazing family to worry about.

The end of privileged white society (and how an amateur blogger beat the pundits and pollsters)

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Back in May 2016, over 5 months and what seems like a lifetime ago, I published a blog post entitled “9 scary reasons Donald Trump can become president in November

In case you’re wondering how to access it, a shameless, self-aggrandizing link is provided below:

https://loveliberationstruggle.wordpress.com/2016/05/27/9-scary-reasons-donald-trump-can-become-president-in-november/)

I started that post with the following preamble:

Ok, I’m going to come right out and stake my claim on this prediction – it’s one with a very small chance of actually coming true (but I think that “small chance” is getting bigger by the day):

Donald Trump will become the next President of the United States.

Please note that it is Friday, May 27, 2016 – over five months away from us actually finding out whether or not this prediction comes true.

I’m not saying that this is a good thing, if it comes true that is. Not by any stretch of imagination. I’m just saying that it’s going to happen. And I’ve been feeling like this for quite a few months now. (Bless the intrepid soul of my long-suffering soulmate and life partner who has to hear my incessant geopolitical monologues.)

Following that introduction, I listed 9 scary and very true reasons for making such a prediction. You can check out the link for more details.

Now I won’t lie, I do feel a little vindicated. But I am anything but happy. Indeed, the day after that most catastrophic of nightmares panned out in surreal fashion before our eyes, I had a near mental and emotional breakdown and had to take a sick day off.

And yet, despite the return of past traumas and pain, I still feel the power of vindication.

An angry, rage-filled, and thoroughly depressing vindication.

Finally!

Finally, all the privileged, white shits of America can see what those of us who are racialized and come from colonized backgrounds have been seeing for fucking centuries.

Finally all the privileged, male shits of America can see what women and trans people across the globe have been seeing for fucking millennia.

Finally, the brutally patriarchal, white supremacist core of America is there for everyone to see.

For this is white misogyny’s last hurrah – and it was easy to spot. Hence the brazen prediction made about America electing Trump as president.

Now, let’s face it. That prediction was just pure dumb luck. I will be the first to admit that I didn’t use any scientific or statistical analysis, nor did I think it actually had much of a chance of coming true. It was nothing more than a gut feeling based on having lived in the settler-colonial societies of America and Canada for the vast majority of my adult life. Indeed, I even shamelessly back pedaled on that prediction a bit in a more recent essay I wrote about rape culture in our societies.

The reason I hark back to that time (apart from flagrant self-promotion) is because exactly a year prior, in May 2015, I wrote a much lengthier piece entitled “The end of privileged white society” – a tirade calling itself an essay and proud to be doing so.

I didn’t publish it. I merely wrote it, edited it, saved it, and told myself that I would publish it on my blog when the time felt right.

I believe that time is now, a year and a half later, because the dawn of this white-supremacist, misogynistic neo-fascism in the US signals the beginning of the end for privileged white society.

As promised to myself, the essay is published below.

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The end of privileged white society

May 2015, Toronto, Canada

Recently I had a particularly liberatory spiritual experience, a stream of slightly higher-than-normal consciousness.

I have tentatively entitled it: The end of privileged white society.

Mostly it has to do with my own liberation as a colonized person of color, which is at the heart of the story. White folk who fail to truly understand their privilege are and always have been a side story. I’ll explain in due course.

Now, when I say the end of privileged white society in this quasi-threatening tone, please note that I disdain masculine, misogynistic violence, or really violence of any kind barring that which is used in choiceless self defense. What I’m really envisioning with the end of privileged white society is equality, and the liberation of all. I’m just doing so a tad angrily, but that’s ok, I’m in control of my feelings. I know how scary an angry person of color is to privileged whiteness (you can see it in the eyes of the particularly insecure among them).

I really do envision the end of privileged white society. The end of white settler-colonial society in that imperialist, genocidal overlord known as the United States of America, in its parasitic client states in Canada and Israel or, hell, maybe even in that drunken joke known as Australia. The end of white Eurocentric society, in that sociopathic dump of a nation-state known as the UK with a vampirish monarchy for an overlord, or that sanctimonious pile of loser puss known as France, or even that technocratic, soulless beast known as Germany, and their various client states in Europe. I see the end of the kind of nightmarish and violent white nationalism in Eastern Europe, which seems to worryingly resort to it for any and all traumas that it might go through. Indeed, I see the end of privileged white society to such an extent that I truly do foresee it soon being referred to in generations to come as the primary source of oppression for the overwhelming majority of humanity for over six centuries.

As a colonized person of color, it’s an extraordinary feeling of liberation to have coursing through my veins.

And course through it does.

I can taste that feeling of liberation. I can smell it. I can sense it in my mind, my heart, indeed, in my soul. The earthen-skinned goddess of liberation is trembling with ferocious indignation.

(And she’s a little scary, let me tell you.)

For I do believe we are on the cusp of a glorious evolution towards a new epoch where we are closer to equality, real equality, towards the true liberation of all, where we share and share alike, where we all live in communion with each other and our non-human family.

Now, I desperately hope this evolution will be non-violent.

The problem is that there is one inviolable truth to this evolution in humanity happening.

White privilege must end.

Just as patriarchy and misogyny must end. Just as capitalism and imperialism must end. Just as religious fundamentalism and nationalism must end.

Privileged white society has to come crumbling down.

I know all the defensive tropes that can and will be raised to counter the sentiments and sensibilities of this piece. I actually couldn’t care less about them because of one undeniable fact:

One section of humanity cannot consume many times more than the overwhelming majority of the rest, having actively brutalized and exploited from the rest of the world without also realizing that for true equality, for the real liberation of all of humanity, that very same society that consumes so much at the expense of so many must end. The consumption must end. The privilege must end.

The party is over people.

Yes, even for white liberals and lefties who voted for Obama but still wallow in white privilege like its divine right.

The resources need to be shared and shared alike – with the rest of the fucking world, with all of humanity in harmony with the earth.

This is not a wish.

It is a natural fact.

Make no mistake, there are going to be sections of that privileged white society who, deep down will admit, are not going to want to share and share alike. Large sections. The Fox News crowd is large, and they will soon be joined by the CNN crowd, eventually maybe even the MSNBC crowd and the indy media crowd. The right wing, the liberals, the slightly whinier liberals, even those who call themselves leftists – how many, white or otherwise, across the Western world will actually give up their privilege to share and share alike with the rest of the world?

The answer could be quite sobering.

Because the vast majority, a right royal hefty chunk of privileged white society will organize themselves into protecting their privilege. They will likely do this by reverting back to the insecure rationalizations of their power, by further upholding their unholy belief in oppressive nation-states and corporations, and by retreating into sterile comfort zones of privileged fear (picture hordes of insecure, ageing hipsters huddled behind suburban walls, festooned with the flags and bouquets of vapid white pop culture, while being guarded by brutal state mercenaries itching to kill brown people – with everyone involved knowing that there are only so many you can kill before the natural harmony of equality and liberation is restored.)

If they slip back to that soulless garbage, that’s going to be a problem. Because eventually privileged white folk will have to realize (as must we all, cis men, the elites of the colonized lands and more – we must all realize…) that there’s a choice in life:

Choice # 1: liberate ourselves together, share and share alike, and understand that our liberation is inconceivable without the liberation of all.

Or

Choice # 2: fall into insularity, oppression, bigotry, whining insecurity, and vain attempts at hoarding one’s privilege when we all know that, sooner or later, nature takes its course.

Nature is all about true freedom, true liberation, and true equality.

Indeed, nature is all about true balance.

And humanity is a force of nature too.

You see, there is a fear within privileged white society that has been fostered by racism and exploitation over many centuries. It is a fear that was ingrained, nay, interred into privileged white society from the day it was born. It is a fear in them that makes me think that a large section of privileged white society will end up inciting even greater violence around the world than it already has, along with its running dogs of religious fundamentalism and patriarchy.

For there is one thing that all those who benefit from privileged white society, whether they’re white or not, fear about the world that makes me realize that white privilege, imperialism, settler-colonialism, Eurocentrism, and racism will either crumble (or be smashed) into the ground.

There are more of the colonized than there are of the colonizer.

Way more.

Way, way more.

By the very definition that privileged white society consumes so much more than the rest of the world combined, over many centuries of colonialism and imperialism, has resulted in one inviolable fact.

Those who consume little be many. The overwhelming majority of those folk are colonized people of color.

Those who consume lots be few. The overwhelming majority of those folk are privileged white people.

Check the numbers if you don’t believe me. Check how much the West consumes compared to the rest of the world, even when the rest of the world includes big, brutal, sub-imperialist powers like China and India. Put it in actual per-capita numbers (you know, if you believe that all human lives are of equal worth and all.)

Indeed, that duality can be rephrased:

Those who need privileged white society to end be many.

Those who need privileged white society to continue be few.

I don’t say this in a threatening way. This evolution in humanity is going to have moments of violence and trauma that we must always do our best to avoid. This is not, nor can it ever be, about violence or retribution.

It’s just fact.

There are always going to be more of the colonized than there are of the colonizer.

And the barriers, the borders, the nationalism, the military might, the state mercenaries, the criminalization, the prison systems, the imperialist wars, the comprador scum, all the privilege that is derived from consuming ten times more than the rest of the world, all of that cannot hold back the long march of time.

And time is on the side of the colonized.

The oil will end. Economies will crash. Ever-increasing numbers of clownish demagogues will come to the fore. You cannot keep consuming and not expect something to come back to bite you in the ass.

And while I don’t believe that white privilege, racism, colonialism, or Eurocentrism will end in my lifetime in terms of a major shift towards greater equality and liberation for all of humanity; I do know it will happen. Indeed, I don’t have to see this liberation in my lifetime, or in this material world, for me to believe in it and be happy about it.

Because I see its beginning.

And I go to bed at night thanking all the goddesses of the universe for not being born white.

The patriarchy that is bred in silence – and a bro way to fight it.

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We all are, or at least ought to be, aware of the more brutal manifestations of patriarchy – a social, political, cultural, and economic existence for humanity that privileges men over women and gender non-conforming folk.

(Apologies in advance for any mansplaining transgressions in this essay btw.)

Physical and sexual violence often come to mind right away when thinking about the most commonly cruel fall outs from this system of male power and control.

But I know there is more than just those egregious forms of patriarchy. Many people, myself included, have viewed or continue to view those types of gender-based violence solely in a vacuum, separate from the rotten and fetid foundation that the violence stems from. For if it wasn’t apparent to me before, it certainly is now, that the foundation of this global system of oppression is ultimately kept in place  via silence – a willfully tight lipped ignorance.

Most men, across the globe, close ranks when it comes to discussing patriarchy and sexism. Even the self-identifying “decent” ones, like many of the men I used to have in my life, tend to not be very open or concerned about gender injustice because it ultimately means looking into the unearned privileges they have accrued at the cost of the women around them. Now make no mistake, these are men who would condemn gender-based violence, maybe even with a lot of emotion, but cannot bring themselves to understand and engage with their own internalized sexism and male privilege.

The preservation of unjust privileges can often be a far stronger unifying force for those who benefit from them than the dismantling of those privileges can be for those who are oppressed by them.

(Fuck me, there I go mansplaining again – and with such long, boring-ass sentences too.)

But men closing ranks around the preservation of patriarchy is a real pain in the butt – especially if you’re trying to play even the tiniest of roles in effecting some social justice and real liberation (not to mention deal with your own internalized crap). Cos this shit happens across the board – cops, military soldiers, nationalists, religious crazies, cultural figures – all and more close ranks when the injustice of their existence is questioned. It’s men being men.

Petulant, cowardly men.

So when I find myself mired in rather depressing questions.

Ones like:

Why is silence so effective in maintaining this oppressive system?

Why are so many men so very scared of talking about these very real problems afflicting our communities and our homes?

What is it that prevents so many men from embracing true love and liberation and equality? And the enriching, but often difficult, struggles that are needed to keep regenerating those beautiful life forces?

When I get bogged down by such painful ruminations – I also remember to hold onto hope.

For I now have a beautiful new realm of bromance-building to find good men in my life.

It is the gift and all important responsibility of fatherhood.

(Which also often happens to be buckets of awesome, if occasionally irritating, fun in and of itself.)

Because a friendship cultivated with a man out of a mutual treasuring of that most liberating of life endeavors – that of parenting a child – is likely a friendship with a man who is caring, nurturing, and honorable.

And that’s a bro I can hang with.